Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
ttyl tear gas
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
