thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
