she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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