when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
