great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
