we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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