All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
