i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
