I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
