You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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