i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
