You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
