Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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