If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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