We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
