I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This house was built for laser tag.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
