So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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