Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
