update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
