the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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