Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
