just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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