I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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