So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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