I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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