just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
