is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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