3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he shaved USA in his pubs
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
