I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
