it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
