Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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