Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had to cum in my sink.
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