Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
time to smoke my breakfast
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
