I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
