thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
