By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
