I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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