Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
