summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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