New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
