I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
