Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
