If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
