yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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