I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize