What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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