See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
