its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
