did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
