Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she pinky promised me she was 18
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
