maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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