i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
